People have sex without being in a relationship. Or have a relationship without sex. It’s not uncommon, believe me; simple statistics of messed up relationships. Sometimes I wish things were simpler like they used to be in the far-away past: when people met, got engaged, got married, had kids, raised them, grew old and died together. At no point were they setting conditions such as ‘we’ll just have sex and not get involved emotionally’, ‘sleeping with other people is OK if your partner doesn’t find out about it’ or ‘hitting up your ex for old times’ sake isn’t considered cheating.’
I have a dream (..) – I dream of a time when you had to be exclusive to be with someone, when just starting a relationship meant it was special and meaningful, and strong, and real. You’re not in that dream – if I have to put you somewhere, it’ll be on the opposite side – where people fill their cavities with everything and anything, where people ARE walking cavities, secretions and mourns. Doesn’t sound too special, does it? I hate to imagine how twisted you have to be to consider such relationships special.
No, I know you’re not fucked up, you and the rest of them. You’re just confused with all the endless possibilities the world has to offer (this is irony by the way); it’s difficult to spot the truly valuable things, worth keeping. Maybe someday you’ll understand. I am afraid it will be too late though. How would you be able to forgive yourself for letting go of the woman of your life (don’t worry – I am not talking about myself, I am not that deluded. You and I are a factual mistake. We were never meant to meet, let alone cross eyes or..) out of fear not to lose your chance of being with 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21 equally uninteresting ones? Chasing after women whose mark in your life only lasts as long as their marks on your sheets (yes, a single wash, a single one) and you – hoarding sex buddies and drinking yourself to death day after day after night. Is this the life you want for yourself?
Don’t answer that – I know you better than you know yourself. Unlike you I am not hurt or offended by the truth. In the end it’s no one’s fault – we just got a bit mixed up. You picked up a girl who wanted, held important and cherished different things than you and me.. well, I just made the same mistake with a different person. I think it’s clear who the moron is.
More often than never you meet certain people only to realize what you don’t want in the person you’re with. Except in your case – you meet certain people only to chase away what you delude yourself you want. Seems a bit pointless, don’t you think?
I used to find it kind of sad. Now I see the really sad thing is trying to make room in your life for people who never wanted you in theirs.